Transcript: The First Rolls
Duck: Cool, lift off, something like that.
Dia: Whatever the word is for starting podcasts,
Duck: Whatever the word is for starting a podcast, is there a verb?
Dia: I mean English is not short on spare vocab. So there probably is.
Duck: True.
Dia: However, I do not know it.
Duck: … Committing some kind of minor cultural crime is what we're doing, yeah.
Dia: Yeah, this is an affront to my literary degrees.
Duck: Yes.
Dia: I am disappointing many professors
Duck: Yes, efficiently and all at once.
Dia: With my heathen antics.
Duck: So welcome to our listeners, to...
Dia: Analysis Roulette.
Duck: Analysis Roulette!
Dia: Where we--
Duck: Where we, where we commit crimes against literary-- literature degrees?
Dia: Yes. I feel like I am significantly more culpable than you and I have been duped into this.
Duck: You're the one with the literature degrees.
Dia: Yeah. So I think I am--
Duck: Which means that you are sort of on a cultural level, you are the one with competence to stand trial. For these crimes?
Dia: Yeah. This was my idea.
Duck: I believe so.
Dia: And therefore, I am probably the one to blame.
Duck: Yes, I have been led astray by someone who knows better than I do.
Dia: That's definitely not true.
Duck: In this specific and limited instance.
Dia: Yes. So to our listeners, such as they might be, I'm Dia.
Duck: I'm Duck.
Dia: And what we're doing today is we are picking some topics and we are going to do something to them. A process will occur.
Duck: A process will, will certainly occur. There may be outcomes.
Dia: There may be outcomes, there may not, which is in and of itself very interesting.
Duck: That would be interesting, we could analyze that
Dia: We could. That would be a wildcard. So we probably actually explain what we're doing here, we should definitely explain what we're doing.
Duck: We have assembled a list. We have assembled a list of interesting cultural works. And we've assembled another list of schools of analysis. The crime comes when we roll dice to decide what school to apply to which work.
Dia: And we are actually rolling dice or picking names out of hats or using randomized wheels. The point is, we are not in any way attempting to make these two things go together.
Duck: No, we are taking what fate may bring us.
Dia: And fate may bring us just about anything.
Duck: What we are doing is taking it seriously when we get it. We are going to be working in good faith with whatever we get. Some of those works in these lists are not ones we personally like, but they are culturally interesting enough that we've put them on the list. Some of them are our most beloved favorites. And depending on what we roll, that could be very upsetting.
Dia: That does not necessarily mean that they are good, I do think we should add that.
Duck: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, there are-- there are some bad things that we love, and some good things that we hate. and various combinations, yes.
Dia: Some bad things that one of us loves, which…
Duck: Yes!
Dia: Which is going to be a problem.
Duck: My memory is that at least one of the things on the list is in medieval French.
Dia: Yes.
Duck: Which when we get to it could be an issue.
Dia: I will probably be able to find a translation somewhere.
Duck: I look forward to it.
Dia: Either that or you will be getting my very own translation. Which I’m sure will add flavour to the text.
Duck: But before we can analyze it first you have to read it to me like a bedtime story.
Dia: I mean to be fair, panicked translation bedtime story would also be an excellent podcast.
Duck: Live translation, yes.
Dia: It's like a normal bedtime story but with more swearing and frantically trying to remember words.
Duck: So should we also introduce ourselves and our qualifications, we've, we've mentioned our names. We’ve also, we’ve mentioned that Dia has literature degrees, plural.
Dia: For my sins. Yes.
Duck: Your sins are deliberately going out and getting degrees.
Dia: For some reason, that is a thing I did do. So yeah, hello, I'm Dia. I use they/them pronouns. I am a journalist, and I hold two degrees in comparative literature and medieval languages and literature respectively. And I'm putting all of that training to use here to analyze whatever the gods choose to give me by whatever tools they provide me. And I'm regretting some life choices.
Duck: I, I thrive on causing people to regret their life choices. And I am Duck, I have no degrees in literature or language of any kind. I have a degree in chemistry, and I work in healthcare management. So I'm very much the hobbyist--
Dia: You can understand science.
Duck: I'm the hobbyist on this podcast, but also the one who knows more than one science fact.
Dia: I-- Excuse me, I know at least two science facts.
Duck: That is better than the last time we had this conversation. Because the last time your science fact was that magnesium is used in science.
Dia: Okay, I busted that fact out in a roomful of English students, and every single one of them took notes.
Duck: And to be fair, it's a fact. It's correct.
Dia: Yeah, you cannot contest it.
Duck: I do not contest.
Dia: Magnesium is a thing in science.
Duck: Magnesium is a thing in science. It's true. This means--
Dia: Prove me wrong!
Duck: I can't, you're correct. It's fully correct. It lacks specifics. Much like my knowledge of literature, I've, you know, I'm one of these hyperlexic people who started reading at a ridiculously early age and never really stopped. But this should not be confused with any kind of formal knowledge. I just like books, and nerdy things. I play d&d, and watch other people play d&d, and run out of attention span if I'm asked to watch films, I am not the person you should go to for a literature podcast. But here we are.
Dia: In theory, I'm a person you could go to for a literature podcast, but in practice, I get too much joy out of bad writing to be a good person to ask for recommendations.
Duck: Fortunately, the work the list of works was assembled by the two of us, with our specific tastes and interests. So there's some bad writing in there.
Dia: There is some very bad writing, and I'm so looking forward to making you read it. So with no further ado, we’re gonna do the first roll. Who would like to do the honors first?
Duck: Let's roll on the works of the analysis table first.
Dia: Okay. Do you want to go?
Duck: Yeah, is that 15?
Dia: Uh, I think it’s 24. 24 by my count?
Duck: 24.
Dia: Not counting the series closer, because 25 is a nice number.
Duck: 25 is a nice number and we know what it's gonna be and it’s going to be so much fun.
Dia: Spoilers
Duck: I am asking this random number generator to roll me 24 sided dice… 21!
Dia: Ooh, spicy.
Duck: Spicy how? Spicy what?
Dia: Postmodernism.
Duck: Interesting.
Dia: And so for a text…
Duck: Text!
Dia: And I believe that was out of 101
Duck: Oh, yes, 101. which is again, a common side of dice. 46.
Dia: I have these in numbered order. I'm just bad at numbers. Why is the person who can't read numbers doing this job?
Duck: Because you opened the document and I opened the dice roller and we didn't plan beyond that.
Dia: Howl's Moving Castle.
Duck: Okay, that doesn't seem like an inherently bad fit.
Dia: Yeah, those are words that go together.
Duck: Yeah, you don't instantly go, a postmodern analysis of Howl's Moving Castle? That's ridiculous! We could, we could apply-- but first I have to learn what postmodernism is and then I can do this analysis.
Dia: I mean, that is already a great sentence. I think that-- okay, that's the spirit of the podcast right there.
Duck: We can learn, we’re not necessarily gonna teach
Dia: We're gonna learn, we're gonna laugh. We're gonna find out what postmodernism means.
Duck: Gotta find out what postmodernism means. We're gonna find out what's interesting about various culturally important or personally, beloved works.
Dia: I mean, I'm just looking at the list and you were one or two numbers out and getting some incredibly niche topics. So I am kind of glad that the first one we're doing is going to be something people have heard of.
Duck: Something people have heard of. Yes, and it's not it's not medieval French, for which I personally am grateful.
Dia: No, it’s not medieval French.
Duck: Nor is it one of the really wildcard categories. If we ever roll really high on the D100, beloved listeners, it's gonna get very weird.
Dia: There are some options.
Duck: There are some options in those high numbers.
Dia: Okay, so that is our roll. Now, there's one question left on that matter, which is, and it's dealer's choice, are we looking at the book or the movie?
Duck: I'm gonna see the movie, because I've previously seen it and I haven't read the book. And I think that passing familiarity will help.
Dia: The movie is shockingly lacking in rugby, but other than that I approve.
Duck: Tumblr has informed me that there's rugby in it
Dia: There is rugby in it. I didn't realize that the first time I read the book because I was an idiot, and had no interest in rugby, like many nine year olds, but upon rereading I discovered that it did actually contain rugby.
Duck: I diagnose you with: not Welsh.
Dia: I mean, that's fair.
Duck: So join us next episode for a postmodern analysis of Howl’s Moving Castle, provided I can figure out what postmodernism is first. If not, I will still attempt it. But it will be weird.
Dia: Yeah. An analysis will be made
Duck: An analysis will be made
Dia: Whether it counts as postmodern…
Duck: Beyond this, we promise you nothing.
Dia: There will be words.
Duck: There will be words.
Dia: And that’s the tagline for the show. See you next week!